6/30/2005

Fishing ishmishing

Today was cool...went fishing with my friend..but it was kinda different..I mean I felt like I wasn't myself cuz I was just sooo tierd...I just wanted to sleep every chance I got...anyways it was fun though..I kinda caught a big fish it looked like an eel but the thread cut unfortunantly..anyways her nephew and his cuz were with us and I'm glad they had fun...we stayed fishing for a few hours then droped them off and back to her place cuz i was spending the night there...we cooked dinner then watched TV and slept...

Written by Heavy Red :: 11:43 PM :: 2 Thoughts:

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6/29/2005

Good-byes

Today I woke up at around 6am to go pick up D and head to the airport cuz N was leaving to the states...I was soo tierd cuz i didnt get much sleep but it was ok..when i picked D up she fell asleep in the back of the car and I drove to the airport trying so hard not to close my eyes..when we arrived guess what N wasn't even there yet haha..so I sat in the car reading for my english class while D slept in the back..when N arrived we went in the airport and sat with her talking..time flew and we had to say our good-byes..man I hate saying goodbye esp to close friends...I did my best not to cry and I knew from the look on her face she was doing the same..we hugged and told her "we'll see ya later..no good-byes" D and I headed home and crashed for an hour before heading to school..man that day was loooong and tiering I just wanted to sleep every chance I got..

Good-byes are never easy..esp when you have to say it to someone you care about

Written by Heavy Red :: 11:43 PM :: 2 Thoughts:

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6/28/2005

..

Was a good day...didnt do much in class just sat around surfing cuz we had to work on our papers but i wasn't in the mood so i just sat around doing nothing..work was boring too had to put the ID in order and man that was just soo boring and confusing..i cant stand lookin at number for such a long time...D and I got an interesting surprise our friend came to visit us..it was good to see her cuz it's been a while..we sat around looking at the ID's of new people and trying not to comment bout them hehe..after a while I got a call from N she was waiting for me outside so we all went to the gate and got her into uni..we talked for a bit looked at some pictures..man talk about memories..haha..i still can't believe I actually went in the water haha...anyways that night I went back to my place and just crashed...so there u go..a typical tuesday

Written by Heavy Red :: 11:43 PM :: 1 Thoughts:

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6/27/2005

A good day...

My day was great...everything was going well...I woke up tierd as hell and was greeted with a surprise from a friend and what a surprise it was...it definitly made my day THANK YOU!!!! it was amazing hehe..anyways I headed to school but I was soo late for my class that I ended up not going and just went to work instead my friend and I had fun playing around with the computers, searching for pictures, joking around and looking at the pictures of new students that are atending this fall..anyways afterwards we headed to my place and watched ALIENS!!! yea i have to turn people into alien addicts lol...then headed to the beach with a bunch of my friends...it was fun sitting around joking and me acting like an idiot..for some reason the water gave me a natural high and i was sitting there singing like an idiot and commenting bout everything..and kept on screaming "AWW HOW CUTE!" but its soo not cute maybe scary but not too cute..i'm sure tigeress knows what i mean lol...the weather was amazing that day..a bit windy but perfect and the sky was clear..it was fun at night we went star gazing and i kept on pointing out all these different stars and all..yea i used to be an astronomy freak lol..but sadly the night had to end cuz everyone had to go home and mom kept on calling me telling me to go back home..so thank god for good days..hopefully there are more to come...

Written by Heavy Red :: 11:43 PM :: 2 Thoughts:

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---------------oOo--------------- Poetry contest at 3am

I couldn't sleep for some reason so I was surfing around and decided to enter a poetry contest on Poetry.com and submitted 2 poems one of them was for the hell of it the one about the pen and paper that is in my previous posts the other I'm actually proud of its "For you see" and guess what if you search for my name on that site you'll see my poems posted there but keep in mind dont forget the e in my first name and i didnt put the dash in my last name haha so have fun searching...I've never done this before so I thought it would be fun..my sister has done it though and actually won..in my opinion she's an excellent poet and deserved it.

now to the blah blah's i'm trying to sleep but i cant i'm just sitting in my room in the dark well the tv is on and listenin to music..i am tierd and i keep yawning but my eyes just wont shut..what to do? what to do? i wish my PS2 works then maybe i would be playing now...should i change stuff in my room? do some cleaning? ugh i hate having nothing to do..ok i just submitted another poem..man i really am bored..i need to something interesting..ugh...sleeping would be agood idea *yawn* zzzzzzzzzzzz...yea right..I WISH......

Written by Heavy Red :: 3:00 AM :: 4 Thoughts:

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6/26/2005

Remember

I just heard this song and I think the words are so touching and amazing...its from the Troy soundtrack...Josh Groban has this voice that just grabs your attention and puts u in this trance..all you can do is just listen..and his words would jus take you away

Remember

Remember, I will still be here
As long as you hold me, in your memory

Remember, when your dreams have ended
Time can be transcended
Just remember me

I am the one star that keeps burning, so brightly,
It is the last light, to fade into the rising sun

I'm with you
Whenever you tell, my story
For I am all I've done

Remember, I will still be here
As long as you hold me, in your memory
Remember me

I am the one voice in the cold wind, that whispers
And if you listen, you'll hear me call across the sky

As long as I still can reach out, and touch you
Then I will never die

Remember, I'll never leave you
If you will only
Remember me

Remember me...

Remember, I will still be here
As long as you hold me
In your memory

Remember, when your dreams have ended
Time can be transcended
I live forever
Remember me

Remember me
Remember... me...

Written by Heavy Red :: 10:19 PM :: 1 Thoughts:

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---------------oOo--------------- Emotional rollercoaster

Today so far is kinda weird...my emotions keep on shifting from one thing to another...I guess its just my condition right now...i hate this feeling when you are extremely happy then bam your depressed...or your just overwhelmed with so many emotions all at once that it's just confusing...I hate being confused it's just complicates things..i'm just too moody right now..and i'm trying so hard to control my feelings but that isn't possible..on my face its obvious...well is it? I really don't know...I DON'T KNOW!!!...damn emotions..I hate feeling this way

small note: sis I'm ok it's nothing its just cuz of you know what..you know how that goes

Written by Heavy Red :: 1:18 PM :: 3 Thoughts:

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6/25/2005

Nothing is impossible

While driving so many thoughts ran through my mind... the same thoughts that occupied my mind daily.."should I speak? should I say? should I tell? should I express?" and I did a bit but I got chocked up and didn't want to cry.. I have cried so many nights...the emotions are just to overwhelming and to strong for me to handle..I'm trying to face that it might happen..to understand if it is possible..but it isn't possible..I mean how? how can I?...I can never be able to do it...I just can't...I can't just sit there and let it happen...I can't just do nothing...Am I willing to lose myself? Am I willing to die a slow death? I just can't...I can never make this just a memory I want it to be eternity, forever, everlastingly, for life infinity if possible...It is possible..there has to be a way...nothing is impossible if your willing to fight for it till the end..and I am willing to do everything I can...Everything...but for now all I have are my thoughts and I shall try to search for an answer to the everlasting dream that one day might come true...

Written by Heavy Red :: 11:43 PM :: 3 Thoughts:

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---------------oOo--------------- A good day

Today was a good day...woke up as usual to go to school..class was kinda boring but oh well..it passed by fast though..afterwards one of my friends showed me her new piercing and i got sooo pissed cuz she knows that i wanted to get it done so she had to go do it before i did..i hate it when she copies what i want to do..ugh..anyways work was fun..not really had to do the ID's boring boring boring..but my friend made it fun hehe..although she pinched the hell outta my cheeks but its ok i'm starting to get used to it now :P haha...anyways afterwards we decided to go to watch Batman Begins with her mom..but during that time we had an interesting convo about the past..man when you talk about your past you tend to realise so many things you never knew then..i guess we were too blinded by the things that were happening that we didnt notice what was bad or what was good...what was healthy what wasnt..and then you realize all the mistake you've done and how you would do anythig to go back and undo the things that will always be burried within you...well back to this day..marina was ok had lunch and waited for my friends mom to arrive..then MOVIE TIME!...well the movie was really good the gadgets and everything was amazing...as you said sis "...the movie was both original, creative, cinematography was great and a true masterpiece." nothing tops that but i dont think i'll dream about it :P i'll leave that to you "OOOOSINT!!!!" anyways..afterwards we went back to my friends house then pass by her sisters place...and DAYAM her sis does amazing chocolate shots...i guess no more chocolate bar for me then...thanks to her hehe...she's soo sweet and fun to be around..reminds me of you sis..COME BACK!!! I MISS U SO MUCH!!!...after being filled up with chocolate we headed back to my place cuz a friend of mine was gonna pass by to pick up some stuff then in a few mins or so i droped my friend home and here i am...

Written by Heavy Red :: 9:45 PM :: 5 Thoughts:

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6/24/2005

and the day goes on...

Went fishing again but with the kids..no no people not my kids..i'm not married..to be more specific my friends nephews it was cool..even though i didnt catch anything oh wait I did catch something thanks to someone...that was sweet..made my day...the best thing was seeing them happy when they caught the fish...it was awesome except that my fishing rod kept on getting stuck between the rocks and i had to cut of the thread a few times oh wait i mean all the time..but oh well...after fishing we went and had pizza that was finger lickin goooood hehe yum...then back home..and now i'm sitting here staring at the computer trying to write my english paper..i know its just the first draft but still i have no idea how to begin or anything my mind is just blank..well not completly blank i have something on my mind...shhhh i wont tell haha..anyways enough blabbering i should go work on my paper...

Written by Heavy Red :: 10:44 PM :: 3 Thoughts:

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---------------oOo--------------- Drowning in my thoughts

Ever since last night I've been thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking...I slowly found myself drowning in my thoughts...what will happen? Someone said something to me yesterday and it is just stuck in my head I want it to go away I dont want to think about it..but it's there constantly repeated over and over...I guess it's bothering me..or I think i just dont want to face it and from what was said its hitting me now...I guess every good thing in life has an ending...I don't want to face my ending..i'm scared to face my ending...cuz I know my ending will be death to me..I would probably die as a person..I know i wouldn't completly lose it all..but I know I will lose the most important part of it all..I've held back so many tears that now are just choking me up..sometimes its hard to breath sometimes it hard to smile..when certain thoughts come to mind..I guess nothing is as perfect as it seems..thats life...I guess we just have to try to be strong and make sure our wall of support is there before it starts to crumble...we just have to be ready to face whatever difficulties, pain or hurt in life that might come our way and be able to pass through them without falling hard on the ground.

Written by Heavy Red :: 9:30 AM :: 4 Thoughts:

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6/23/2005

my daily blah

Today was pretty interesting..I woke up around 9am and went to get a hair cut..i guess i'm just really sick of long hair but oh well...anyways afterwards (in a few hours) I went over to my friends place and we watched a bit of Opera cuz Tom Cruise was on..I think he's ok but she just loves him hehe...anyways we went to the mall it was soo crowded I couldn't stand the people so we didnt get to shop much just went to Virgin and Athlete's foot and then back home to get our fishing stuff :)...we finally decided to go to fish in Scientific center on the Pier that was amazing...we got so many tugs and all...and we caught the same fish over and over and over again..it just made up sick hehe..I dunno if its the same fish acting stupid or what haha...we stayed there till 8:30 and headed home..I stayed at her place for a bit before coming home...and when I reached home..here I am blogging away..trying so hard not to pass out...well I guess I cant try I should be heading to be...so I'll blog later

Written by Heavy Red :: 10:45 PM :: 5 Thoughts:

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6/20/2005

Dark Art

I have this huge fascination for dark art...I dunno if it is because of its dark colors or the disturbing images but there is something very appealing about them... I found this website a few months ago that has the work of FABRICE LAVOLLAY to me his art is very dark and goth..I wondering what he was thinking when he did them...any comments?

this pic i love it has no name
what do you guys think?


anyways back to the real world...and what a cruel world it is....anyways today so far is ok..woke up extremely tierd and went to my friends place to pick her up then back to school...class was kinda boring I mean the movie was fine but my heart and mind wasnt really with it I was just too sleepy and tried so hard to stay up..but that was fine..I kinda got confused about the whole story in the movie or maybe my mind just wasnt in the mood to think or work at that time...anyways after class was time to work..and here I am in work trying to stay up...

My mood is kinda weird at the moment I guess its just cuz i'm tierd maybe or something..I just dont feel like being in school at this point in time..its just too boring or maybe i need a change...at this time..I just feel out of place..why is my heart beating so fast whats happening? oh man..f**k this...time to stop for now...i'll write more at night hopefully i'll have more things to say..cuz right now my thoughts are taking over me

one more thing before i leave work..since i cant do it while working i'll do it here and in my head

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! *shouting at the top of my lungs*

ok i needed to get that out before i do it some other place or to someone and regret it

Written by Heavy Red :: 12:45 PM :: 2 Thoughts:

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6/19/2005

New hobby

OK I just wanted to talk about this new obssession I have with these certain type of Toys..no no i'm not talking about Adult toys ok ok so back to my obssession...i recently started buying these movie figure toys(i think thats what they are called) and i'm loving em..i just got an Alien from the movie ofcourse..i'll post the picture of it soon..its the DOG ALIEN from Alien 3 since it came out of a dog and all...and I just went to the website and dayam i'm loving thier stuff...here are a few things...
New wishlist (now u guys know what to get me for my next bday or christmas if you want..or just to make me happy haha)


Alien

The Crow

Alien Attacks Predator

Warrior Alien

Alien Queen

Predator

Birth of the hybrid

So whatcha all think?

I will blabber more about my day later...right now my mood is kinda not that great

7

Written by Heavy Red :: 2:17 PM :: 4 Thoughts:

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6/18/2005

"A new day has coommee!"

Don't ask about the title..i heard celine dion's song today IN THE RADIO so dont get any ideas ..ok JC!!! and it just stuck in my head...dammit get out of my mind ugh...anyways enough of talkin to myself..so today i started summer school..my class was pretty cool but it looks like we're gonna have so much work to do..the cool thing is tomorrow we're gonna be watching "A beautiful mind" heard it was a good movie..that would be cool...what else what else? oh yea i got Desree's new album..its cool..her style didnt change much..i like her music..and the words to most of her songs are motivational well to me anyways...I "tried" the word being TRIED to go fishing today but man the weather sucked it was sooooo windy...then i headed over to my friends place watched a bit of tv and headed back home...

now my blah blah's
Nope i'm not watching Alien reserection cuz i didnt get to watch alien 3 last night so i'm watchin it tonight....

There is this song i recently downloaded...love the lyrics but i was shocked to know that Papa Roach sang it here are the lyrics

"Scars"

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And my scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is

[Chorus:]
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

[Chorus]

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever came around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
Go fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

[Chorus x2]

courtsey of AZlyrics

aww how cute I just have one friend in my blogging peeps...thats just too sad haha..hopefully that list will grow or i'm just antisocial..hmmmm..but dis friend is ma family...WE TIGHT!?!?!
oh oh I guess there are 2 people now..the other is MA SIS!!!...love her...andmiss her soo much since she's living in the states...

Aight now back to what I was saying...what was i saying..hmmm ok confused..i guess i just need sleep..talking about sleep...man today I was suppose to be at someone's place at 8 but guess what..miss sleepyhead hit the snooze button while she was sleeping..and slept in..that wasn't good...i guess i should turn my other alarm on

so back to whatever I was saying...I wrote this thing in my class today..its not finished and doesnt make sense...maybe you can put some sense into you

I took a pen today, the paper followed
The pen caught the paper but the ink vanished
I threw the pen away cuz it betrayed me today
No words ! No words! No words!
to be written today
It will all just fade away... just fade away

Written by Heavy Red :: 10:38 PM :: 3 Thoughts:

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6/17/2005

blah blahs

I can never get bored of Alien the movie...I brought the quadrilogy and it's just amazing..I watched Alien 2 days ago and last night watched Aliens and now Alien 3...I guess i'm kinda doing an Alien marathon thing...I find it fascinating how the aliens in the movie are made..I mean having acid for blood now that much be something...anyways my day today was the same..I went to lunch with a couple of friend to chillies...the food I ordered wasn't what I expected but hey the soup wasn't bad...then ofcourse went FISHING!!...I dunno whats up with me and fishing..but I'm loving it more than usual...I guess I'm fishing with the right person..THANK GOD! but it was cool cuz I caught a fish I think it was a frog fish or something..(i'm not that good with names)..then I caught a big one but it freakin got away oh well there are plenty of days to come...

I'm starting summer school tomorrow...ugh I'm so not in the mood to wake up everymorning and go to school every single day of the week except weekends ofcourse...

Music Music..I need to get new cd's ..
ok the wishlist
Mariah Carey


Lifehouse


The Diary of a mad black woman




and many more..the list just goes on and on

there is this song I dunno who sings it..i keep hearing it on the radio i think it goes something like "You love me but you don't know who I am. I'm torn between the life I lead and where I stand" I think thats it...anyone know who sings it?

Written by Heavy Red :: 10:53 PM :: 4 Thoughts:

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6/15/2005

First post

I've posted in so many blog sites so I decided to try this one out since a friend of mine recommended it...So anyways since this is my first post I should take it seriously *ahem*...my day was kinda weird I wanted to go shopping but plans changed...I mean I did go but I didnt buy what I wanted to...thats ok though...cuz I got my momma's credit card so I'll do the shopping tomorrow haha..I need to buy new jeans..i'm sick of my torn ones..they are really worn out..and torn in the wrong places...hopefully I'll find good ones cuz it's hard for me to really find good jeans..esp here...anyways...my mood wasnt that good..it kept on swinging from good to REALLY BAD to good again then REALLY REALLY BAD it just kept on getting worse...going fishing helped I guess just being with the right person and by the sea was what I needed...the calm waves was very relaxing...I love sitting by the beach and just listen to the waves hit shore...afterwards...it was bad my mood just changed it was soo bad...I didn't know what made me get so angry at myself...I dunno i'm just too confused...I think I should stop here before it gets worse...what a way to start a new blog eh?

Written by Heavy Red :: 12:05 PM :: 3 Thoughts:

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