Written by Heavy Red ::
11:43 PM ::
5 Thoughts:
Your thoughts?
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I am me
I AM ME
Uknown
In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me
Everything that comes out of me is authentically me
Because I alone chose it
I own everything about me
My body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions,
Whether they be to others or to myself
I own my fanatasies
My dreams, my hopes, my fears
I own all my triumphs and
Successes, all my failures and mistakes
Because I own all of Me, I can become intimately acquainted with me by so doing
I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts I know
There are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other
Aspects that I do not know - but as long as I am
Friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously
And hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles
And for ways to find out more about me
However I Look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever
I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically
Me - If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought
And felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is
Unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that
Which I discarded - I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do
I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be
Productive to make sense and order out of the world of
People and things outside of me
I own me, and therefore I can engineer me
I am me and
I AM OKAY
Written by Heavy Red ::
11:43 AM ::
4 Thoughts:
Your thoughts?
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7/18/2005
My blogging personality
| Your Blogging Type is Unique and Avant Garde |
 You're a bit ... unusual. And so is your blog.
You're impulsive, and you'll often post the first thing that pops in your head.
Completely uncensored, you blog tends to shock... even though that's not your intent.
You tend to change your blog often, experimenting with new designs and content. |
Written by Heavy Red ::
12:45 PM ::
6 Thoughts:
Your thoughts?
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7/13/2005
Home
There was a girl who lived by the shore..she would wake up everyday early in the morning to watch the sunrise while sitting by the sea as the water touches her toes feeling the sand tickle her feet as she admires the beauty within that sunrise..taking every moment of it in her heart..burning that picture in her head...slowly staying in her illusions of happiness and peace..until she has to go back to the dungeon she lives in..the reality that drowns her..taking every part of her making her feel more and more alone..the yelling..the fighting...the accusations...the blame..was all on that girl..who felt more abandoned by life..all she has was that sunset to give her this short moment of happiness..this intense feeling of belonging. One morning as she was by the beaching waiting for her only friend to awake...a tear rolled down her cheek as she watched her friend slowly born from the darkness of the sky..her tear shinning from the rays...feeling the warmth and the embrace of the wind...she was lost in that feeling..slowly laying down as the wind took her away from her reality..towards that sunrise to live within it's light and be safe from all harm..finally that girl was smiling...she was finally Home.
Written by Heavy Red ::
10:16 PM ::
4 Thoughts:
Your thoughts?
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7/12/2005
Tagged
1. What does "love" mean to you?
Madness...it can be good or bad...but it's all up to you
2. What does "marriage" mean to you?
A bond between souls..but here thats never true..cuz bonds break
3. Do you believe in "love at first sight" ?
Yes
4. How many children would you like?
2 a boy and girl
5. If given the opportunity, what is that one song you would sing for me on wedding day?
Dangerously in Love - Destiny's Child
6. What is your favorite holiday destination?
French Polynesian Islands (Bora Bora Island)
7. What are three qualities you would look for in man?
1. Honest
2. Romantic
3. Faithful
8. What are the three qualities and three bad habits that you have?
Qualities:
1. Kind hearted
2. Understanding
3. Honest
Bad habits:
1. Moody
2. Don't tell people how I feel or whats bothering me (but I'm working on that)
3. Impatient
9. Did you have any previous relationships?
Yes
10. Where do you see yourself in 10 years time?
At this point I dunno where I will be in a week or a month or a year...only time will tell
Since I have to tag I'm going to tag Tigeress...
Written by Heavy Red ::
9:57 PM ::
1 Thoughts:
Your thoughts?
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The Darkness
I sit in the corner looking at you
sitting within the darkness
slowly dissolving into your own shadow
You think of me, yet you do not know me
Yet i am the darkness around you, within you, holding you
i am your shadow
You hear me talking inside you
you hear me in your mind
you embrace me
accept me
for i am the one who will save you
the one who will drain the sorrow inside you
you are not alone in this world
i am you and you are me
lets become one
and let our sufferreing souls dwell
making out hearts melt
and our illusions a reality
Written by Heavy Red ::
9:43 PM ::
3 Thoughts:
Your thoughts?
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7/11/2005
A Dream
I wrote this last night while I was half asleep..I was pulled into this dream..that made me wonder..
I walked on a beach feeling the soft sand move between my toes..walking on a bed of silk..I close my eyes and breath in the fresh air that purifies my soul and absorbed my pain..RELAXATION...the sounds of the waves hitting shore was like a harmonious tune of tranquility that my mind has been searching for...Within the silence of the tune I hear my name being whispered through the wind..I turn to see you standing there smiling at me..looking into your eyes I realized that everything is alright..I shouldn't worry..I shouldn't be scared because I was the chosen one..Is this my reality or my dream? We walked and sat on the warm sand to embrace the beauty within the sunset and cherish the moments we are sharing with eachother..we sat in stillness observing the fading of the sun..how the colors were carefully painted on the sky giving it a sense of unity..perfection...but even in dreams no one can reach perfection..for that sting of reality was always there observing us..that black bee hovering above us...monitoring our every move making sure our hapiness didn't last..it landed on my arm and stood still watching the change on my face what was once a smile turned into a sudden frown...for my sadness was it's happiness and my happiness it's sadness...that smirk on its face made me realize that this is a dream that might never come true..It was ready to attack and it stung me with poisonous reality..leaving a permanent scar not visible to others but me..The pain woke me and I looked at my arm and realized that no matter how far I go to escape my reality that bee "The king of pain" will always be there to make me realize that no matter how hard I try to make him fade away he will never leave me in peace.
Written by Heavy Red ::
11:23 AM ::
3 Thoughts:
Your thoughts?
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7/10/2005
Cartoon version of you
Ever wondered how you would look like as a cartoon?
Check this out
Dooky Web
Thats Me
Written by Heavy Red ::
2:51 PM ::
4 Thoughts:
Your thoughts?
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7/09/2005
Missy Elliot
I just sow the video of missy's new song...and damn did she lose so much weight..I was shocked...but the song is amazing...and there goes Missy doin it again!!
Missy Elliot feat Ciara and Fatman Scoop - Lose Control
Written by Heavy Red ::
1:24 PM ::
7 Thoughts:
Your thoughts?
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7/08/2005
A song...
I heard this song today...it was I dunno..for some reason it moved something in me...it hit common ground...made me think of my life in the past...and how greatful to have this tiny peace in my life now...despite the chaos and destruction...I can escape my reality ...Thank you for being there...you've always picked me up when I was throw hard on the ground...you've always made look to the brighter side of things...thank you for being an amazing friend...finally I found a friend here that I can pour my emotions, thoughts, sadness, and happiness too...and not be afraid to show what I really feel...THANK YOU!!!
Ben Moody feat. Anastacia
"Everything Burns"
(Anastacia)
She sits in her corner
Singing herself to sleep
Wrapped in all of the promises
That no one seems to keep
She no longer cries to herself
No tears left to wash away
Just diaries of empty pages
Feelings gone a stray
But she will sing
(Ben Moody & Anastacia)
Til everything burns
While everyone screams
Burning their lies
Burning my dreams
All of this hate
And all of this pain
I'll burn it all down
As my anger reigns
Til everything burns
(Anastacia)
Ooh, oh
(Ben Moody)
Walking through life unnoticed
Knowing that no one cares
Too consumed in their masquerade
No one sees her there
And still she sings
(Ben Moody & Anastacia)
Til everything burns
While everyone screams
Burning their lies
Burning my dreams
All of this hate
And all of this pain
I'll burn it all down
As my anger reigns
(Ben Moody & Anastacia)
Til everything burns
Everything burns
(Everything burns)
Everything burns
Watching it all fade away
(All fade away)
Everyone screams
Everyone screams
(Watching it all fade away)
Oooh, ooh
(While everyone screams)
Burning down lies
Burning my dreams
(All of this hate)
And all of this pain
I'll burn it all down
As my anger reigns
Til everything burns
(Everything burns)
Watching it all fade away
(Oooh, ooh)
(Everything burns)
Watching it all fade away
Written by Heavy Red ::
11:43 PM ::
1 Thoughts:
Your thoughts?
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Weekend of peace and happiness
I was taken away from civilization this weekend...and went to our beachhouse..the good thing is my friend came with me..we swam..took our dogs for a walk...went fishing at night...cooked...BBQ...an amazing Surprise..it was just fun fun fun..I just relaxed from the hectic life..i guess I needed that..i felt peace being away from people...it was like escaping reality...it was just fun..so much laughter and so much joy...I TRULY NEEDED THAT...but and yes there is always a but...no matter how far away from civilization I am...there is this part of it that will always be there...I pushed it aside and enjoyed my weekend of piece...
by far this was the best weekend I've ever had
THANK YOU!!!!
sadly now I'm sick *snif snif* what a way to end a weekend hehe
Written by Heavy Red ::
10:31 PM ::
3 Thoughts:
Your thoughts?
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7/03/2005
Good ending to a bad day
Didnt sleep again last night was up all night trying to keep myself busy I dunno why I can't sleep..its really effecting me and my body..it just gets me weaker and weaker..i think one day I might break..anyways..my day sucked really bad...everything was just bad...I went to class and couldn't even stay there I kept going back and forth to the bathroom just to cry...why? i have no idea..I think i'm just getting way too emotional for no apparent reason...anyways then day was still bad so I decided to go to my friends place...we watched friends and she asked if I could sleep over..and suprisingly my mom agreed...that night I slept like a baby..maybe there is something wrong with my room?
Written by Heavy Red ::
11:43 PM ::
2 Thoughts:
Your thoughts?
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7/02/2005
Weekend of emotions
Me.."the friend"..."the friend"... me...back and forth..back and forth...very confusing but maybe helpful..who knows...this weekend my eyes were open to so many things...it's like i sow my life flash before me...how will it end? I wonder...will I be happy? or will I be sad? only time will tell...
Written by Heavy Red ::
11:43 PM ::
4 Thoughts:
Your thoughts?
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A song
I've been trying to find this song for such a long time..its arabic..but i love the lyrics..i never liked the artist but there is something about this song...I dunno i just love it...
Rashed Il Majed - Nesaynakom
Written by Heavy Red ::
11:57 AM ::
3 Thoughts:
Your thoughts?
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7/01/2005
Another friday
Woke up and just wanted to sleep all day I guess I was just lazy..my friends nephew came and we watched a bit of garfeild then had lunch with her family..I was kinda shy but it was ok...a few hours later we got our stuff packed and headed out to fish..and it was the same thing..but it sucked cuz there were so many people at the pier with us so it was kinda hard to catch anything..well my friend caught a few but me nada..zip..zero..nothing...we stayed there till 8pm and headed back to her place...had dinner then back to home sweet home...afterwards I took a quick shower and crashed...I'm just too tierd
Written by Heavy Red ::
11:43 PM ::
2 Thoughts:
Your thoughts?
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