~Dreaming in Red~

Wash Away Those Years

2006-01-17T14:11:00.000+03:00

"Wash Away Those Years"

Creed

She came calling

One early morning

She showed her crown of thorns

She whispered softly

To tell a story

About how she had been wronged

As she lay lifeless

He stole her innocence

And this is how she carried on

This is how she carried on

Well I guess she closed her eyes

And just imagined everything's alright

But she could not hide her tears

'Cause they were sent to wash away those years

They were sent to wash away those years

My anger's violent

But still I'm silent

When tragedy strikes at home

I know this decadence

Is shared by millions

Remember you're not alone

Well if you just close your eyes

And just imagine everything's alright

But do not hide your tears

'Cause they were sent to wash away those years

Well if you just close your eyes

And just imagine everything's alright

But do not hide your tears

'Cause they were sent to wash away those years

They were sent to wash away those years

Maybe we can wash away those years

For we have crossed many oceans

And we labor in between

In life there are many quotients

And I hope I find the meanthe mean, the mean

Well if you just close your eyes

And just imagine everything's alright

But do not hide your tears

'Cause they were sent to wash away those years

Well if you just close your eyes

And just imagine everything's alright

But do not hide your tears

'Cause they were sent to wash away those years

Maybe we can wash away those years

I hope that you can wash away those years

AZ lyrics

A new year to remember

2006-01-01T02:23:00.000+03:00

This was definitly a new year to remember...i went over to D's house and chilled there playing games and having the most amazing dinner ever..then we went to Nadooys house and went crazy with the rest of my friends dancing played a few games and after midnight we went back to D's place and crashed...I had so much fun and it was definitely a night to remember

Under construction

2005-12-27T23:49:00.000+03:00

I decided to go check my blog out today and guess what..my whole template was erased for some reason..everything was lost..i got so pissed off cuz i have to start it all over again..so now this is the new blog layout...its still under construction..but hopefully it will be better than the one i had in the past...with a lot of new improvements...

Day at the SC

2005-12-21T22:45:00.000+03:00

After school today my friend and I decided to take her 10month old nephew to the aquarium..it was fun seeing all the fish and sharks again hehe..but he was soo cute he kept on sitting by the glass and hitting it wanted to go in lol...it was fun..later on we decided to have chinese for dinner and watched some opera...it was a simple day of fun

NaDooy is back

2005-12-20T21:50:00.000+03:00

My friend finally cameback from the states man the group missed her so much...it was really good to see her again..but man when i went to her place i was too hyper to the extent my friend thought that there was something wrong with me..i was cracking up like never before and started dancing like an idiot..i guess not sleeping effected me after all

Semi Finalist

2005-12-12T22:29:00.000+03:00

I was chekcing my email today and recieved this email about this poem i posted for a contest and guess what they said i'm a semi finalist...i'm SOOO EXCITED i never thought that would happen..i just did it for fun i hope i win...

Fog

2005-12-06T20:23:00.000+03:00

Today was so interesting..I woke up at 6am to go to university and all..and i couldnt see a thing outside because of all the fog..there was like 0 visibility i had to put my head lights on in order to drive..it was freaky and scary cuz i was scared someone my crash into me since it was soo hard to see..and at night man was it freaky..it felt like i was in a horror movie or something...but it was cool at the same time...

Fog at 6:30am

Fly Margarita

2005-12-04T22:08:00.000+03:00

My friend and I were dying for Margarita's so we went to Sultan Center to buy some Margarita mix but they didn't have any...then we decided to go to Chi Chi's and order margarita's to go but to our luck they were out of margarita's...then we remembered that Hardrock had margarita's so we went and i ordered a strawberry margarita and my friend ordered a regular one...on our way to her place she took a sip of her drink and it tasted like lemonade..mine tasted like strawberry with lime..so it wasnt even close to a margarita...i was taking a few sips every now and then till we reached her place...we decided to put the drinks in the blender and put some ice with it..she did her drink and i told her to do mine..but when she opened the lid she freaked and called me...and guess what THERE WAS A DEAD FLY IN MY DRINK!!!!! I wish i checked it before leaving hardrock...i still cant believe there was a dead fly..thank god i didnt drink the whole drink...it sucked anyway...so from now on no more HARDROCK...just CHICHI plus chi chi's has the best margarita's i've ever taste...keep in mind they are all VIRGIN MARGARITAS hehehe

here are the pics of that DEAD FLY it isn't that clear cuz i took the pics with my cell

Snowy

2005-12-03T22:05:00.000+03:00

My Uncle recently brought a dog who i think is adorable...she's soooo energitic and just wont stop attacking my dog chui...its funny watching them play around and Chui just sitting there while she bits him...anyways here is SNOWY

black cat

2005-11-20T21:59:00.000+03:00

I've always wanted a black cat, but the whole superstition and yananwa thing made me not get one...its kinda freaky when u know a cat is possessed...thanks sis for the info bout that...well anyways when I came home tonight I sow this beautiful black cat that was sitting on top of a car..the fur was soo black and the eyes were deep blue..it was soo beautiful...so i decided to take a pic of it...

here ya go its not that clear but thats the best i can do

The end of me

2005-11-06T05:35:00.000+03:00

I've had a really bad day today..the word bad doesnt even do justice to how crappy this day was...after talking to a few people i've realised that no one in my family trust me...they say one things to me and in my back they go ask about what i do in my spare time..where i go...who i talk to...how i'm like with others...WHAT THE HELL!!...i've decided never to talk to anyone anymore...thats it...i'll just go back to how i used to be and distance myself from them...i've tried so much to open up and when i finally have it backfired in an indirect way...now i'm just gonna shut up and take it like how i have in the past...They never knew and will never know what i'm going thru..my life to them is a closed book now...despite how bad i wanted them to be a part of it now i wont even let them in...to them i'll just be a person thats just there..my feelings they wont see...my thoughts they will never know...let them treat me the way they want to...i know i havent completly opened up to them about my problems other than a few things that were bothering me..but honestly thank god i haven't completly opened up...cuz now i'm gonna lock myself up and not let anyone from my family in anymore..i still love them though...all i have left to say is let's see what happens next..

Surprise Party

2005-10-13T23:40:00.000+03:00

Man today was hectic having to go from one place to another without my best friend D knowing becuase I was planning a surprise birthday party for her and was hoping everything would work out...I spend all morning with her then when it was time for Fotoor i told her that i had to go home cuz we are having my aunts over but ofcourse that was all a lie...then after fotoor i talked to my other friend F and she came over and we had to go get the cake and the rest of the stuff...then good thing is that when we arrive back to my place D's friends started to show up ofcourse i was shy to talk to them and all because i didn't know them...I called D up and told her to get her things ready since she was sleeping over that night and that I was on my way..I picked her up and her mom knew everything that was happening which was cool cuz she helped us plan this..then when we got to my place i msged F and told her that we arrived..then we went to the basement and when D opened the door she was shocked to see all her friends and definitly surprised which was cool hehe..they had fun playing with the helium balloons then we all went for a drive around our area throwing balloons out of the window and playing music and just going crazy..that night was definitly fun.

Reunion

2005-10-12T23:05:00.000+03:00

It was great going to my old school reuinon despite not graduating from there. I got to see people i haven't seen for 10 years or so..it was so weird but it was fun catching up with them all. The most interesting part is seeing my middle school teacher who i havent seen for maybe around 13year if not more and to my surprise she still rememebers me :) but all in all it was fun the had contests some performances and live music..after that i just headed up and crashed

New Car

2005-10-11T22:56:00.000+03:00

Fiannly got the Murano...I've been waiting forever it just took too long..but i got it and at first i was kinda scared to drive it cuz i was so used to the beetle but after a while i got used to it..its soo smooth and the sound system i'm just in love with..

Here is the pic of the car...I got this off the internet but i'll take a better pic soon

Bye bye Beetle

2005-10-08T22:11:00.000+03:00

Today was a sad day..i know you guys might think this is stupid..but i had to give up my VW beetle and it was difficult...I buildt so many memories in that car and been through a lot..i guess i'm just the type of person that gets to attached to things...this car ment so much to me...i was actually hoping that dad will let me keep it and not sell it..but i had to..it was so hard to say bye..it is a big part of my life and always will be...bye bye beetle...i'll sure miss you

Nissan

2005-10-06T22:04:00.000+03:00

Went to nissan today with my parents and my friend...dad finally brought me the car i'm soo excited..i got a metallic silver murano...i cant wait to drive it..it was a great day but it ended bad cuz i had a huge fight with my mom and a lecture from my dad...sometimes i feel like they dont understand me..i try to explain myself but i'm always shut down...and mom just yells at me..it was just soo bad that i couldnt take it anymore..i exploded in tears...i dunno i just feel like they are all against me..she tends to say i dont sit with her and i'm never home..but thats not true i do sit with here for the past weeks i come home early and have dinner with her all the time...except with she has he usual gathering...i really dunno what else to do? that night i ended up sleepin at my friends place cuz i just needed a bit of a break from them...then night ended good cuz i jsut put it behind me...and as usual held it all in

Good news

2005-10-03T21:57:00.000+03:00

Today was a good day..finally decided to go to basketball practice...and guess what i'm the Captian hehe that was great...what else? i found out that the government will be giving full time kuwaiti student workers 100kd each month..great i get to customise my car now..and not have to worry bout expenses that much...and when i got home i talked to dad about getting a new car and he agreed THANK GOD..il7imdilla this was definitly a good day

Reunion

2005-10-01T22:00:00.000+03:00

This was a good day after class i got to meet up with a friend of mine that i havent seen for 10 years...it was a great reunion..she was with my other friend who i tend to talk to from time to time...we went to color me mine then had lunch at johnny rockets it was pure fun we were just catching up to all the things we missed..and man did we miss a lot...then we started talking about things we used to do in school a few years back and all the we sat in a coffee shop afterwards the weather was just to die for and we started talking about the states and uni...and to add to that i found out that there will be a reunion in my old school...so i'm pretty excited about that..despite not graduating from there..it would be great to go that a meet up with old friends...yalla inshalla all goes well

First day of school

2005-09-17T21:55:00.000+03:00

The day went well but work is hectic...the worst thing is that i have to work everyday in the morning..so so tiring...but classes were really good..my best class so far is social psych that seems more interesting than my other classes...advertising class the prof is fun but he tends to make things difficult..my other classes all i can say is BORING..but i'm gonna try to get through em..other than that everything is going good this semester hopefully things will go well...alla ye3lam

Finally back

2005-09-15T21:48:00.000+03:00

It been a while since I last posted...well just a quick update..the wisdom teeth is out finally so no more pain thank god...but i know later on the others will be out...other than that my summer has been good...my bestfriend from the states came to visit me fore 2 weeks...we went to every single place in kuwait..and this museum that was very touching...it was about the Gulf war..they explained how it started and showed pictures and amazing work of art...you guys should check it out...what else? hmm i took a break from work for a month and that was great just needed time to relax but other than that its all good...but then i got a call that i had to come back to work for a student worker orientation that went ok i guess..then the week after i had to be at work at 8am everyday..that was tiring...then the orientation came and that went ok..despite a few rude new students other than that all is good..so was my mini summer update

Wisdom teeth!!

2005-07-28T16:47:00.000+03:00

It's killing me...my right jaw is just too much to handel right now...my day started really bad...ugh..the only good thing is I surprised my friend D with a few things..see the thing is she's renovating her room and I love doing that so she told me to do it for her..and I was soo excited cuz now i have something to do lol...so I gave it a nice touch..i'm still working on it..but i got her these really cool tigers..no people not real ones just statues and i'm really glad she likes them :)...we had lunch with her parents and then she put henna tattoos on me..they are still drying off so hopefully they come out good...Thank god her mom gave me really strong pain killer so that i don't have to feel the pain of this freaking wisdom tooth..i can finally eat and chew without feeling that pain..i need to get some of these pills so i can survive till saturday before going to the dentist..I hope everything gets better before S comes to visit..

Finally done with summer!!

2005-07-27T23:43:00.000+03:00

Well I'm finally gonna start my summer vacation no more summer school for me..finally done!!!
I can't wait till my friend gets here..its gonna be soo much fun D and I have soo much planned for her..we have this surprise for her when she gets here i better charge my cam so i can capture that shock on her face haha..well my days was pretty long yet short i dunno how to explain it..but so many things happened and I realised so much..the good thing is that i got a call from my sister..i'm glad she's doing good...what else? D's parents will be coming back so thats cool..i really miss her mom hehe..I called my friend in the states and she's soo excited about coming to visit me..its gonna be her first time in Kuwait...I cant wait to see that look on her face when she gets a taste of the weather here haha...hopfully she wont faint..well i guess that's my day for you...not that interesting but oh well..thats it

One word...

2005-07-21T23:43:00.000+03:00

AMAZING!!!

another good day

2005-07-19T23:43:00.000+03:00

It was a good day…went to school and was totally not in the mood..and the weather didn’t help much..it was soooo humid that it felt like you were like melting or something..everything fogged up in a second…I wonder how S will handle this weather..god help her haha..hopefully when she visits the weather is a bit better and less humid…anyways after class I went to chocolate bar to get some cheesecake cuz I was totally craving them..then got something and went grocery shopping then back to school..when I got there I sow D and just wanted to go home..the weather was just too much…we headed to the car..and BAM there is was…the good thing is that I am able to keep my mouth shut now haha…GOTCHA!!...the look on the face was just memorable..that I will never forget..and the reaction “no comment”..you guys have no idea what I’m talking about..its ok I’m just in the mood to confuse people..anyways I went back to D’s place to have lunch and spent the whole day there…we had lunch and she wanted to go fishing but the weather didn’t help so we ended up changing some stuff in her room..its was cool..i love doing that kinda thing..cuz I renovate my room every now and then it was fun…then at night we decided to go to IKEA and shop and man was it busy..cuz of this SALE they were having everyone was there that we had to park by the street infront of it cuz there was like a line of cars waiting to get into it’s parking lot..anyways we got some stuff and headed back to her place to set them up..so far its looking good…then I headed back home..worked on my essay and passed out…it was a good time..despite a name being mentioned a lot that made me cringe..it was all good…I really needed that day I guess…

8!

I am me

2005-07-19T11:43:00.000+03:00

I AM ME

Uknown

In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me

Everything that comes out of me is authentically me

Because I alone chose it

I own everything about me

My body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions,

Whether they be to others or to myself

I own my fanatasies

My dreams, my hopes, my fears

I own all my triumphs and

Successes, all my failures and mistakes

Because I own all of Me, I can become intimately acquainted with me by so doing

I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts I know

There are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other

Aspects that I do not know - but as long as I am

Friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously

And hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles

And for ways to find out more about me

However I Look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever

I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically

Me - If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought

And felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is

Unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that

Which I discarded - I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do

I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be

Productive to make sense and order out of the world of

People and things outside of me

I own me, and therefore I can engineer me

I am me and
I AM OKAY

My blogging personality

2005-07-18T12:45:00.000+03:00

Your Blogging Type is Unique and Avant Garde

You're a bit ... unusual. And so is your blog.
You're impulsive, and you'll often post the first thing that pops in your head.
Completely uncensored, you blog tends to shock... even though that's not your intent.
You tend to change your blog often, experimenting with new designs and content.

What's Your Blogging Personality?

Home

2005-07-13T22:16:00.000+03:00

There was a girl who lived by the shore..she would wake up everyday early in the morning to watch the sunrise while sitting by the sea as the water touches her toes feeling the sand tickle her feet as she admires the beauty within that sunrise..taking every moment of it in her heart..burning that picture in her head...slowly staying in her illusions of happiness and peace..until she has to go back to the dungeon she lives in..the reality that drowns her..taking every part of her making her feel more and more alone..the yelling..the fighting...the accusations...the blame..was all on that girl..who felt more abandoned by life..all she has was that sunset to give her this short moment of happiness..this intense feeling of belonging. One morning as she was by the beaching waiting for her only friend to awake...a tear rolled down her cheek as she watched her friend slowly born from the darkness of the sky..her tear shinning from the rays...feeling the warmth and the embrace of the wind...she was lost in that feeling..slowly laying down as the wind took her away from her reality..towards that sunrise to live within it's light and be safe from all harm..finally that girl was smiling...she was finally Home.

Tagged

2005-07-12T21:57:00.000+03:00

1. What does "love" mean to you?
Madness...it can be good or bad...but it's all up to you

2. What does "marriage" mean to you?
A bond between souls..but here thats never true..cuz bonds break

3. Do you believe in "love at first sight" ?
Yes

4. How many children would you like?
2 a boy and girl

5. If given the opportunity, what is that one song you would sing for me on wedding day?
Dangerously in Love - Destiny's Child

6. What is your favorite holiday destination?
French Polynesian Islands (Bora Bora Island)

7. What are three qualities you would look for in man?
1. Honest
2. Romantic
3. Faithful

8. What are the three qualities and three bad habits that you have?
Qualities:
1. Kind hearted
2. Understanding
3. Honest

Bad habits:
1. Moody
2. Don't tell people how I feel or whats bothering me (but I'm working on that)
3. Impatient

9. Did you have any previous relationships?
Yes

10. Where do you see yourself in 10 years time?
At this point I dunno where I will be in a week or a month or a year...only time will tell

Since I have to tag I'm going to tag Tigeress...

The Darkness

2005-07-12T21:43:00.000+03:00

I sit in the corner looking at you
sitting within the darkness
slowly dissolving into your own shadow
You think of me, yet you do not know me
Yet i am the darkness around you, within you, holding you
i am your shadow
You hear me talking inside you
you hear me in your mind
you embrace me
accept me
for i am the one who will save you
the one who will drain the sorrow inside you
you are not alone in this world
i am you and you are me
lets become one
and let our sufferreing souls dwell
making out hearts melt
and our illusions a reality

A Dream

2005-07-11T11:23:00.000+03:00

I wrote this last night while I was half asleep..I was pulled into this dream..that made me wonder..

I walked on a beach feeling the soft sand move between my toes..walking on a bed of silk..I close my eyes and breath in the fresh air that purifies my soul and absorbed my pain..RELAXATION...the sounds of the waves hitting shore was like a harmonious tune of tranquility that my mind has been searching for...Within the silence of the tune I hear my name being whispered through the wind..I turn to see you standing there smiling at me..looking into your eyes I realized that everything is alright..I shouldn't worry..I shouldn't be scared because I was the chosen one..Is this my reality or my dream? We walked and sat on the warm sand to embrace the beauty within the sunset and cherish the moments we are sharing with eachother..we sat in stillness observing the fading of the sun..how the colors were carefully painted on the sky giving it a sense of unity..perfection...but even in dreams no one can reach perfection..for that sting of reality was always there observing us..that black bee hovering above us...monitoring our every move making sure our hapiness didn't last..it landed on my arm and stood still watching the change on my face what was once a smile turned into a sudden frown...for my sadness was it's happiness and my happiness it's sadness...that smirk on its face made me realize that this is a dream that might never come true..It was ready to attack and it stung me with poisonous reality..leaving a permanent scar not visible to others but me..The pain woke me and I looked at my arm and realized that no matter how far I go to escape my reality that bee "The king of pain" will always be there to make me realize that no matter how hard I try to make him fade away he will never leave me in peace.

Cartoon version of you

2005-07-10T14:51:00.000+03:00

Ever wondered how you would look like as a cartoon?

Check this out

Dooky Web

Thats Me

Missy Elliot

2005-07-09T13:24:00.000+03:00

I just sow the video of missy's new song...and damn did she lose so much weight..I was shocked...but the song is amazing...and there goes Missy doin it again!!

Missy Elliot feat Ciara and Fatman Scoop - Lose Control

A song...

2005-07-08T23:43:00.000+03:00

I heard this song today...it was I dunno..for some reason it moved something in me...it hit common ground...made me think of my life in the past...and how greatful to have this tiny peace in my life now...despite the chaos and destruction...I can escape my reality ...Thank you for being there...you've always picked me up when I was throw hard on the ground...you've always made look to the brighter side of things...thank you for being an amazing friend...finally I found a friend here that I can pour my emotions, thoughts, sadness, and happiness too...and not be afraid to show what I really feel...THANK YOU!!!

Ben Moody feat. Anastacia

"Everything Burns"

(Anastacia)
She sits in her corner
Singing herself to sleep
Wrapped in all of the promises
That no one seems to keep
She no longer cries to herself
No tears left to wash away
Just diaries of empty pages
Feelings gone a stray
But she will sing

(Ben Moody & Anastacia)
Til everything burns
While everyone screams
Burning their lies
Burning my dreams
All of this hate
And all of this pain
I'll burn it all down
As my anger reigns
Til everything burns

(Anastacia)
Ooh, oh

(Ben Moody)
Walking through life unnoticed
Knowing that no one cares
Too consumed in their masquerade
No one sees her there
And still she sings

(Ben Moody & Anastacia)
Til everything burns
While everyone screams
Burning their lies
Burning my dreams
All of this hate
And all of this pain
I'll burn it all down
As my anger reigns

(Ben Moody & Anastacia)
Til everything burns
Everything burns
(Everything burns)
Everything burns
Watching it all fade away
(All fade away)
Everyone screams
Everyone screams
(Watching it all fade away)
Oooh, ooh
(While everyone screams)
Burning down lies
Burning my dreams
(All of this hate)
And all of this pain
I'll burn it all down
As my anger reigns
Til everything burns
(Everything burns)
Watching it all fade away
(Oooh, ooh)
(Everything burns)
Watching it all fade away

Weekend of peace and happiness

2005-07-08T22:31:00.000+03:00

I was taken away from civilization this weekend...and went to our beachhouse..the good thing is my friend came with me..we swam..took our dogs for a walk...went fishing at night...cooked...BBQ...an amazing Surprise..it was just fun fun fun..I just relaxed from the hectic life..i guess I needed that..i felt peace being away from people...it was like escaping reality...it was just fun..so much laughter and so much joy...I TRULY NEEDED THAT...but and yes there is always a but...no matter how far away from civilization I am...there is this part of it that will always be there...I pushed it aside and enjoyed my weekend of piece...

by far this was the best weekend I've ever had

THANK YOU!!!!

sadly now I'm sick *snif snif* what a way to end a weekend hehe

Good ending to a bad day

2005-07-03T23:43:00.000+03:00

Didnt sleep again last night was up all night trying to keep myself busy I dunno why I can't sleep..its really effecting me and my body..it just gets me weaker and weaker..i think one day I might break..anyways..my day sucked really bad...everything was just bad...I went to class and couldn't even stay there I kept going back and forth to the bathroom just to cry...why? i have no idea..I think i'm just getting way too emotional for no apparent reason...anyways then day was still bad so I decided to go to my friends place...we watched friends and she asked if I could sleep over..and suprisingly my mom agreed...that night I slept like a baby..maybe there is something wrong with my room?

Weekend of emotions

2005-07-02T23:43:00.000+03:00

Me.."the friend"..."the friend"... me...back and forth..back and forth...very confusing but maybe helpful..who knows...this weekend my eyes were open to so many things...it's like i sow my life flash before me...how will it end? I wonder...will I be happy? or will I be sad? only time will tell...

A song

2005-07-02T11:57:00.000+03:00

I've been trying to find this song for such a long time..its arabic..but i love the lyrics..i never liked the artist but there is something about this song...I dunno i just love it...

Rashed Il Majed - Nesaynakom

Another friday

2005-07-01T23:43:00.000+03:00

Woke up and just wanted to sleep all day I guess I was just lazy..my friends nephew came and we watched a bit of garfeild then had lunch with her family..I was kinda shy but it was ok...a few hours later we got our stuff packed and headed out to fish..and it was the same thing..but it sucked cuz there were so many people at the pier with us so it was kinda hard to catch anything..well my friend caught a few but me nada..zip..zero..nothing...we stayed there till 8pm and headed back to her place...had dinner then back to home sweet home...afterwards I took a quick shower and crashed...I'm just too tierd

Fishing ishmishing

2005-06-30T23:43:00.000+03:00

Today was cool...went fishing with my friend..but it was kinda different..I mean I felt like I wasn't myself cuz I was just sooo tierd...I just wanted to sleep every chance I got...anyways it was fun though..I kinda caught a big fish it looked like an eel but the thread cut unfortunantly..anyways her nephew and his cuz were with us and I'm glad they had fun...we stayed fishing for a few hours then droped them off and back to her place cuz i was spending the night there...we cooked dinner then watched TV and slept...

Good-byes

2005-06-29T23:43:00.000+03:00

Today I woke up at around 6am to go pick up D and head to the airport cuz N was leaving to the states...I was soo tierd cuz i didnt get much sleep but it was ok..when i picked D up she fell asleep in the back of the car and I drove to the airport trying so hard not to close my eyes..when we arrived guess what N wasn't even there yet haha..so I sat in the car reading for my english class while D slept in the back..when N arrived we went in the airport and sat with her talking..time flew and we had to say our good-byes..man I hate saying goodbye esp to close friends...I did my best not to cry and I knew from the look on her face she was doing the same..we hugged and told her "we'll see ya later..no good-byes" D and I headed home and crashed for an hour before heading to school..man that day was loooong and tiering I just wanted to sleep every chance I got..

Good-byes are never easy..esp when you have to say it to someone you care about

..

2005-06-28T23:43:00.000+03:00

Was a good day...didnt do much in class just sat around surfing cuz we had to work on our papers but i wasn't in the mood so i just sat around doing nothing..work was boring too had to put the ID in order and man that was just soo boring and confusing..i cant stand lookin at number for such a long time...D and I got an interesting surprise our friend came to visit us..it was good to see her cuz it's been a while..we sat around looking at the ID's of new people and trying not to comment bout them hehe..after a while I got a call from N she was waiting for me outside so we all went to the gate and got her into uni..we talked for a bit looked at some pictures..man talk about memories..haha..i still can't believe I actually went in the water haha...anyways that night I went back to my place and just crashed...so there u go..a typical tuesday

A good day...

2005-06-27T23:43:00.000+03:00

My day was great...everything was going well...I woke up tierd as hell and was greeted with a surprise from a friend and what a surprise it was...it definitly made my day THANK YOU!!!! it was amazing hehe..anyways I headed to school but I was soo late for my class that I ended up not going and just went to work instead my friend and I had fun playing around with the computers, searching for pictures, joking around and looking at the pictures of new students that are atending this fall..anyways afterwards we headed to my place and watched ALIENS!!! yea i have to turn people into alien addicts lol...then headed to the beach with a bunch of my friends...it was fun sitting around joking and me acting like an idiot..for some reason the water gave me a natural high and i was sitting there singing like an idiot and commenting bout everything..and kept on screaming "AWW HOW CUTE!" but its soo not cute maybe scary but not too cute..i'm sure tigeress knows what i mean lol...the weather was amazing that day..a bit windy but perfect and the sky was clear..it was fun at night we went star gazing and i kept on pointing out all these different stars and all..yea i used to be an astronomy freak lol..but sadly the night had to end cuz everyone had to go home and mom kept on calling me telling me to go back home..so thank god for good days..hopefully there are more to come...

Poetry contest at 3am

2005-06-27T03:00:00.000+03:00

I couldn't sleep for some reason so I was surfing around and decided to enter a poetry contest on Poetry.com and submitted 2 poems one of them was for the hell of it the one about the pen and paper that is in my previous posts the other I'm actually proud of its "For you see" and guess what if you search for my name on that site you'll see my poems posted there but keep in mind dont forget the e in my first name and i didnt put the dash in my last name haha so have fun searching...I've never done this before so I thought it would be fun..my sister has done it though and actually won..in my opinion she's an excellent poet and deserved it.

now to the blah blah's i'm trying to sleep but i cant i'm just sitting in my room in the dark well the tv is on and listenin to music..i am tierd and i keep yawning but my eyes just wont shut..what to do? what to do? i wish my PS2 works then maybe i would be playing now...should i change stuff in my room? do some cleaning? ugh i hate having nothing to do..ok i just submitted another poem..man i really am bored..i need to something interesting..ugh...sleeping would be agood idea *yawn* zzzzzzzzzzzz...yea right..I WISH......

Remember

2005-06-26T22:19:00.000+03:00

I just heard this song and I think the words are so touching and amazing...its from the Troy soundtrack...Josh Groban has this voice that just grabs your attention and puts u in this trance..all you can do is just listen..and his words would jus take you away

Remember

Remember, I will still be here
As long as you hold me, in your memory

Remember, when your dreams have ended
Time can be transcended
Just remember me

I am the one star that keeps burning, so brightly,
It is the last light, to fade into the rising sun

I'm with you
Whenever you tell, my story
For I am all I've done

Remember, I will still be here
As long as you hold me, in your memory
Remember me

I am the one voice in the cold wind, that whispers
And if you listen, you'll hear me call across the sky

As long as I still can reach out, and touch you
Then I will never die

Remember, I'll never leave you
If you will only
Remember me

Remember me...

Remember, I will still be here
As long as you hold me
In your memory

Remember, when your dreams have ended
Time can be transcended
I live forever
Remember me

Remember me
Remember... me...

Emotional rollercoaster

2005-06-26T13:18:00.000+03:00

Today so far is kinda weird...my emotions keep on shifting from one thing to another...I guess its just my condition right now...i hate this feeling when you are extremely happy then bam your depressed...or your just overwhelmed with so many emotions all at once that it's just confusing...I hate being confused it's just complicates things..i'm just too moody right now..and i'm trying so hard to control my feelings but that isn't possible..on my face its obvious...well is it? I really don't know...I DON'T KNOW!!!...damn emotions..I hate feeling this way

small note: sis I'm ok it's nothing its just cuz of you know what..you know how that goes

Nothing is impossible

2005-06-25T23:43:00.000+03:00

While driving so many thoughts ran through my mind... the same thoughts that occupied my mind daily.."should I speak? should I say? should I tell? should I express?" and I did a bit but I got chocked up and didn't want to cry.. I have cried so many nights...the emotions are just to overwhelming and to strong for me to handle..I'm trying to face that it might happen..to understand if it is possible..but it isn't possible..I mean how? how can I?...I can never be able to do it...I just can't...I can't just sit there and let it happen...I can't just do nothing...Am I willing to lose myself? Am I willing to die a slow death? I just can't...I can never make this just a memory I want it to be eternity, forever, everlastingly, for life infinity if possible...It is possible..there has to be a way...nothing is impossible if your willing to fight for it till the end..and I am willing to do everything I can...Everything...but for now all I have are my thoughts and I shall try to search for an answer to the everlasting dream that one day might come true...

A good day

2005-06-25T21:45:00.000+03:00

Today was a good day...woke up as usual to go to school..class was kinda boring but oh well..it passed by fast though..afterwards one of my friends showed me her new piercing and i got sooo pissed cuz she knows that i wanted to get it done so she had to go do it before i did..i hate it when she copies what i want to do..ugh..anyways work was fun..not really had to do the ID's boring boring boring..but my friend made it fun hehe..although she pinched the hell outta my cheeks but its ok i'm starting to get used to it now :P haha...anyways afterwards we decided to go to watch Batman Begins with her mom..but during that time we had an interesting convo about the past..man when you talk about your past you tend to realise so many things you never knew then..i guess we were too blinded by the things that were happening that we didnt notice what was bad or what was good...what was healthy what wasnt..and then you realize all the mistake you've done and how you would do anythig to go back and undo the things that will always be burried within you...well back to this day..marina was ok had lunch and waited for my friends mom to arrive..then MOVIE TIME!...well the movie was really good the gadgets and everything was amazing...as you said sis "...the movie was both original, creative, cinematography was great and a true masterpiece." nothing tops that but i dont think i'll dream about it :P i'll leave that to you "OOOOSINT!!!!" anyways..afterwards we went back to my friends house then pass by her sisters place...and DAYAM her sis does amazing chocolate shots...i guess no more chocolate bar for me then...thanks to her hehe...she's soo sweet and fun to be around..reminds me of you sis..COME BACK!!! I MISS U SO MUCH!!!...after being filled up with chocolate we headed back to my place cuz a friend of mine was gonna pass by to pick up some stuff then in a few mins or so i droped my friend home and here i am...

and the day goes on...

2005-06-24T22:44:00.000+03:00

Went fishing again but with the kids..no no people not my kids..i'm not married..to be more specific my friends nephews it was cool..even though i didnt catch anything oh wait I did catch something thanks to someone...that was sweet..made my day...the best thing was seeing them happy when they caught the fish...it was awesome except that my fishing rod kept on getting stuck between the rocks and i had to cut of the thread a few times oh wait i mean all the time..but oh well...after fishing we went and had pizza that was finger lickin goooood hehe yum...then back home..and now i'm sitting here staring at the computer trying to write my english paper..i know its just the first draft but still i have no idea how to begin or anything my mind is just blank..well not completly blank i have something on my mind...shhhh i wont tell haha..anyways enough blabbering i should go work on my paper...

Drowning in my thoughts

2005-06-24T09:30:00.000+03:00

Ever since last night I've been thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking...I slowly found myself drowning in my thoughts...what will happen? Someone said something to me yesterday and it is just stuck in my head I want it to go away I dont want to think about it..but it's there constantly repeated over and over...I guess it's bothering me..or I think i just dont want to face it and from what was said its hitting me now...I guess every good thing in life has an ending...I don't want to face my ending..i'm scared to face my ending...cuz I know my ending will be death to me..I would probably die as a person..I know i wouldn't completly lose it all..but I know I will lose the most important part of it all..I've held back so many tears that now are just choking me up..sometimes its hard to breath sometimes it hard to smile..when certain thoughts come to mind..I guess nothing is as perfect as it seems..thats life...I guess we just have to try to be strong and make sure our wall of support is there before it starts to crumble...we just have to be ready to face whatever difficulties, pain or hurt in life that might come our way and be able to pass through them without falling hard on the ground.

my daily blah

2005-06-23T22:45:00.000+03:00

Today was pretty interesting..I woke up around 9am and went to get a hair cut..i guess i'm just really sick of long hair but oh well...anyways afterwards (in a few hours) I went over to my friends place and we watched a bit of Opera cuz Tom Cruise was on..I think he's ok but she just loves him hehe...anyways we went to the mall it was soo crowded I couldn't stand the people so we didnt get to shop much just went to Virgin and Athlete's foot and then back home to get our fishing stuff :)...we finally decided to go to fish in Scientific center on the Pier that was amazing...we got so many tugs and all...and we caught the same fish over and over and over again..it just made up sick hehe..I dunno if its the same fish acting stupid or what haha...we stayed there till 8:30 and headed home..I stayed at her place for a bit before coming home...and when I reached home..here I am blogging away..trying so hard not to pass out...well I guess I cant try I should be heading to be...so I'll blog later

Dark Art

2005-06-20T12:45:00.000+03:00

I have this huge fascination for dark art...I dunno if it is because of its dark colors or the disturbing images but there is something very appealing about them... I found this website a few months ago that has the work of FABRICE LAVOLLAY to me his art is very dark and goth..I wondering what he was thinking when he did them...any comments?

this pic i love it has no name
what do you guys think?

anyways back to the real world...and what a cruel world it is....anyways today so far is ok..woke up extremely tierd and went to my friends place to pick her up then back to school...class was kinda boring I mean the movie was fine but my heart and mind wasnt really with it I was just too sleepy and tried so hard to stay up..but that was fine..I kinda got confused about the whole story in the movie or maybe my mind just wasnt in the mood to think or work at that time...anyways after class was time to work..and here I am in work trying to stay up...

My mood is kinda weird at the moment I guess its just cuz i'm tierd maybe or something..I just dont feel like being in school at this point in time..its just too boring or maybe i need a change...at this time..I just feel out of place..why is my heart beating so fast whats happening? oh man..f**k this...time to stop for now...i'll write more at night hopefully i'll have more things to say..cuz right now my thoughts are taking over me

one more thing before i leave work..since i cant do it while working i'll do it here and in my head

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! *shouting at the top of my lungs*

ok i needed to get that out before i do it some other place or to someone and regret it

New hobby

2005-06-19T14:17:00.000+03:00

OK I just wanted to talk about this new obssession I have with these certain type of Toys..no no i'm not talking about Adult toys ok ok so back to my obssession...i recently started buying these movie figure toys(i think thats what they are called) and i'm loving em..i just got an Alien from the movie ofcourse..i'll post the picture of it soon..its the DOG ALIEN from Alien 3 since it came out of a dog and all...and I just went to the website and dayam i'm loving thier stuff...here are a few things...
New wishlist (now u guys know what to get me for my next bday or christmas if you want..or just to make me happy haha)

Alien

The Crow

Alien Attacks Predator

Warrior Alien

Alien Queen

Predator

Birth of the hybrid

So whatcha all think?

I will blabber more about my day later...right now my mood is kinda not that great

"A new day has coommee!"

2005-06-18T22:38:00.000+03:00

Don't ask about the title..i heard celine dion's song today IN THE RADIO so dont get any ideas ..ok JC!!! and it just stuck in my head...dammit get out of my mind ugh...anyways enough of talkin to myself..so today i started summer school..my class was pretty cool but it looks like we're gonna have so much work to do..the cool thing is tomorrow we're gonna be watching "A beautiful mind" heard it was a good movie..that would be cool...what else what else? oh yea i got Desree's new album..its cool..her style didnt change much..i like her music..and the words to most of her songs are motivational well to me anyways...I "tried" the word being TRIED to go fishing today but man the weather sucked it was sooooo windy...then i headed over to my friends place watched a bit of tv and headed back home...

now my blah blah's
Nope i'm not watching Alien reserection cuz i didnt get to watch alien 3 last night so i'm watchin it tonight....

There is this song i recently downloaded...love the lyrics but i was shocked to know that Papa Roach sang it here are the lyrics

"Scars"

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And my scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is

[Chorus:]
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

[Chorus]

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever came around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
Go fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

[Chorus x2]

courtsey of AZlyrics

aww how cute I just have one friend in my blogging peeps...thats just too sad haha..hopefully that list will grow or i'm just antisocial..hmmmm..but dis friend is ma family...WE TIGHT!?!?!
oh oh I guess there are 2 people now..the other is MA SIS!!!...love her...andmiss her soo much since she's living in the states...

Aight now back to what I was saying...what was i saying..hmmm ok confused..i guess i just need sleep..talking about sleep...man today I was suppose to be at someone's place at 8 but guess what..miss sleepyhead hit the snooze button while she was sleeping..and slept in..that wasn't good...i guess i should turn my other alarm on

so back to whatever I was saying...I wrote this thing in my class today..its not finished and doesnt make sense...maybe you can put some sense into you

I took a pen today, the paper followed
The pen caught the paper but the ink vanished
I threw the pen away cuz it betrayed me today
No words ! No words! No words!
to be written today
It will all just fade away... just fade away

blah blahs

2005-06-17T22:53:00.000+03:00

I can never get bored of Alien the movie...I brought the quadrilogy and it's just amazing..I watched Alien 2 days ago and last night watched Aliens and now Alien 3...I guess i'm kinda doing an Alien marathon thing...I find it fascinating how the aliens in the movie are made..I mean having acid for blood now that much be something...anyways my day today was the same..I went to lunch with a couple of friend to chillies...the food I ordered wasn't what I expected but hey the soup wasn't bad...then ofcourse went FISHING!!...I dunno whats up with me and fishing..but I'm loving it more than usual...I guess I'm fishing with the right person..THANK GOD! but it was cool cuz I caught a fish I think it was a frog fish or something..(i'm not that good with names)..then I caught a big one but it freakin got away oh well there are plenty of days to come...

I'm starting summer school tomorrow...ugh I'm so not in the mood to wake up everymorning and go to school every single day of the week except weekends ofcourse...

Music Music..I need to get new cd's ..
ok the wishlist
Mariah Carey

Lifehouse

The Diary of a mad black woman

and many more..the list just goes on and on

there is this song I dunno who sings it..i keep hearing it on the radio i think it goes something like "You love me but you don't know who I am. I'm torn between the life I lead and where I stand" I think thats it...anyone know who sings it?

First post

2005-06-15T12:05:00.000+03:00

I've posted in so many blog sites so I decided to try this one out since a friend of mine recommended it...So anyways since this is my first post I should take it seriously *ahem*...my day was kinda weird I wanted to go shopping but plans changed...I mean I did go but I didnt buy what I wanted to...thats ok though...cuz I got my momma's credit card so I'll do the shopping tomorrow haha..I need to buy new jeans..i'm sick of my torn ones..they are really worn out..and torn in the wrong places...hopefully I'll find good ones cuz it's hard for me to really find good jeans..esp here...anyways...my mood wasnt that good..it kept on swinging from good to REALLY BAD to good again then REALLY REALLY BAD it just kept on getting worse...going fishing helped I guess just being with the right person and by the sea was what I needed...the calm waves was very relaxing...I love sitting by the beach and just listen to the waves hit shore...afterwards...it was bad my mood just changed it was soo bad...I didn't know what made me get so angry at myself...I dunno i'm just too confused...I think I should stop here before it gets worse...what a way to start a new blog eh?